Monday, November 28, 2005

Waking up to a Worse Nightmare

Complaining about life is one of the silly things I sometimes do. And I can't --- actually I shan't --- cease doing that, because the moment I start doing that, I'll grow up :).
But the title epxlains my life over past few months. Skipping the details, I am in a real shitty mess. Almost hitting the rock bottom is my field of speciality, but I guess hitting it hard is the thing I will experience pretty soon.
Anyway, I've been reading a lot after I washed my hands off some of my dirty works in office. The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho is the last that I finished. I wouldn't praise it too high, but I liked the honed passion Coelho blended in this one. He reminded me of Satinath Bhaduri, of Jaagari and Dho[n]rai Charit Maanash ... it's not very easy to weave simplest of expressions to create a magic. I felt my eyes getting wet, felt my heart fumbling my memory for distant past I try not to let loose in my mind, felt myself sitting in a cold verandah with misty dawn around me ... it made me think about myself again.
Perhaps I should go treasure hunting like Santiago? Perhaps I should give a better look at the omens around me? Perhaps the wind will carry a kiss so familiar someday.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Glimpses :(

Aami thik jaani, aami hothat emni kono din
kono mor ghurtei tomake saamne peye jaabo
ki kotha phutbe mukhe, songshoye kibhabe takabo
aami thik jaani, seta bhebe pawa onek kothin.

Tobe aami jaani, aami prothom jedin mukhomukhi
tomake saamne peye naam dhore omolin sware
dekechhi, chhuechhi shudhu tomar norom haat dhore
sebhabe daakbo jaani, se hashi-i mukhe debe u[n]ki.

Aami thik jaani na to, tumi ki aager moto heshe
ghorite dekhabe, ami pothe boro deri kore phela ---
betchara premik, ar tumio ki shei shesh bela
haa[n]tbe amar sathe, amake bhishon bhalobeshe?

Monday, November 14, 2005

Nickpoddo 0003

Jekhane kothaar shesh, jekhane shwasher bashpe sob jaabe bojha
sekhane tomaake khu[n]ji ...
sekhane aamaar poth kho[n]ja.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Hibijibi


Ingo Arndt is one of the most charismatic Animal Photographer around. I have seen some of his extraordinary works ... and I really am feeling like quitting everything and start becoming a freelance photographer :( .
By the way, the chap in the pic is obviously me, not Herr Arndt.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

নিকপদ্য ০০০২

কোথায় সীমানা টানি, কার ঠোঁটে আঁকি সীমারেখা?

সীমানাবিহীন এই পৃথিবীতে আমি তাই একা।

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

নিকপদ্য ০০০১

প্রেমের কোরিদা, ভালোবাসা ষাঁড়

আমি মাতাদোর, মানবো না হার

ঝরুক রক্ত। জেনো সেনিয়োরিতা

আমার হৃদয়, গোলাপ তোমার।

Friday, November 04, 2005

:(

What is Death, I do not know ... it's not easily imagined.
But songs remain unsung,
The kisses dangle at the bottom of nowhere,
And you're not sure, if that sweet little thing could guess whether you loved her cause you didn't tell her ...
and Death, is just a joke, a prank you never would like.
and Death is a joke, my friend ... there is nothing to be proud of it.

Live proud.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Eid?

I quit "doing" Eid ( We Bangalis DO everything ... we do politics, we do literature, we do sex ... we are a great doing nation), that is, Eid festivities when I stepped into the Uni. Not that I had better things to do on eid, but suddently everything felt pretty boring ... wearing a new Kurta, fooling around with friends, having a date on Eid and fooling around more, watching rhino-ticklers on TV ... the only thing I like about the eid is the quiet streets, for at least two days. I feel a new Dhaka around me.
Since 2002 I leave the city on Eid evening with my trekker friends ... and the day quietly slips away in packing my rücksack. But this Eid day is bearing pretty heavy on me. My mom's out of country, I might not be able to go for the challenging 120 hours of trekking trip to the heart of Bandarban, and what's more terrifying ... I'll have to spend the day here in Dhaka not knowing what to do. I have half a bottle of vodka up my freeze (the nastiest I ever gulped down), and some boozuwoozu friends ... but I'm not allowed to have a party that involves drinking in my house. Perhaps I'll be watching those shitty programs on TV?
Damn, I hate my luck.
And I miss my mom too :( ... no more yummy dishes on Eid :(((((((((((((((((((((.

হিবিজিবি

কত সাধ করে নিয়েছিনু ছুটি
পাহাড়ের গায়ে চড়ে গুটি গুটি
তাজিনশীর্ষে এ চরণ দুটি
রাখিয়া কহিবো, "শালা ...
বাঙলার চূড়া করিয়াছি গুঁড়া, সাঙ্গ ট্রেকিং পালা।"

সহযাত্রীরা বড় মশগুল
আমারও তো কোন হয়নি রে ভুল
দরখাস্ত তো করেছি ব্যাকুল
এমডি দিয়াছে সায় ...
বোঁচকা বেঁধেছি, ঘরে ফিরে সোজা পাহাড় চড়ার প্রায়।

হঠাৎ করিয়া এ কি হলো ল্যাঠা
গভীর নিশীথে ম্যানেজার ব্যাটা
সেলুলার ফোনে মারো লাথি ঝ্যাঁটা
কহে, "ছুটিফুটি নাই!"
ইঙিতে বুঝিনু আদেশ, অফিসে পুনরায় যাওয়া চাই।

এদিকে আমার বোঁচকায় কত
জিনিস ভরেছি প্রয়োজন মত
এরই মাঝে ব্যাটা ম্যানেজার যতো
আজিব হুকুম ঝাড়ে,
দুঃখে আমার চক্ষুর জল অশ্রু রুধিতে নারে।

মনে মনে যত অশালীন গালি
চর্চায় যত মনোযোগ ঢালি
ঐদিকে ফোনে বন্ধুরা খালি
খাচরা প্যাচাল পাড়ে,
অশ্রু গিলিয়া গদগদস্বরে কহি, "আমি যাবো না রে!"

আর হবে কি গো পর্বতে চড়া
চাকুরির ঘায়ে আমি আধামরা
তাই মনে ভাবি, যাবে না তো করা
এমন খাচরা জব
আগামী মাসেই হচ্ছি বেকার, জেনে রেখো ভাইসব।

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Bad Hair Day

I feel totally blank. Perhaps because I overslept a bit.
The morning charged me like a raged bull ... and I was sleeping wrapped in a red kantha too ... I felt like a maladroit matador, and sulkingly woke up. And the loud boo wasn't coming from any bloodthirsty audience, it was my damned phone alarm. Then I fell asleep again. Fuck the bull. I'll continue to be an absent-minded Matador.
The next time it was a technician from my broadband joint ... I don't understand, 12 AM was still too early for any sane person on a holiday. I politely shooed him off ... and jumped on the bed again. But another bull charged me out of my rocker. It was in my stomach.
Ok ... so I got up, got washed, and decided to give my hair a good trim. Not that it would make me look good (you need some very intricate procedures to do that) ... but it would make me feel lighter. So I went to the bihari barbers waaaaaaaaaay too far from my home, and experienced a waiting of almost 40 minutes. A chandichhila chandu was there, apparently sleeping on the chair, while the barber trimmed his hoggy head, and frankly speaking ... there wasn't much to do over there. And he dared to get a shave after "trimming" his ""hair"" (I need a double quote for that) ... and then came a tiny little cute girl with her silky hair which should have been cut like an U to make her plaits look more beautiful ... and only then could I have the honor to stick my head under the guillotine.
I felt sheepish when the trimming was done (I guess every sheep feel that way after being sheared) ... it was the same ugly me with a different haircut. Damn it!
I decided to come back and punish myself ... and here I am with a stupid blog!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Flowers of Bangladesh

"I quit Biology after SSC. It narrowed down the world around me." --- Mahbub al Azad.
However, I have tremendous curiosity on Taxonomy ... how we classify the huge living kingdom, sort things into different classes, orders, families ... and my interest was rekindled by the great Richard Dawkins. Since I always try to learn new things through my activities, I have fidgeted out a new focus ... I'll be shooting flowers (it has got a vulgar meaning too, never mind that ...)!
Photography is my passion, though I'm still chewing on the roots of it, not a good photographer I am. But I have taken an initiative to archive the flowers of Bangladesh through my camera ... as well as others'. Pretty soon I will open a website dedicated to Bangladeshi Flowers. Anyone can contribute with good pictures and scientific information on flowers. I believe it won't take us long to have a very nice resource over the net.
I was really hurt when one of my friends in Brazil complained that she was interested to know more about Bangladesh, but couldn't find enough info over the net. And it was not an unjust one ... seriously, we are so touchy about our country, but have we done enough to present it properly to the rest of the world? Isn't there something good that we could offer, exploting the wonderful internet? Many of us literally spend half the life on the net, and some minutes would suffice to make a difference.
I have a good mind to start my step with flowers.